The two strongest feelings a person can have are regarded as being love and hate. You’ve probably heard the phrase “there is a thin line between love and hate” at some point. This means that, contrary to what many people would like to believe, sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between loving and hating someone.
However, it frequently happens that when we love someone, we want them to have all the best things this world has to offer, or when we hate someone, we’re likely to want them to struggle and suffer or at least leave their worse sides that we hate. We can absolutely hate someone if we’ve ever loved them, and the opposite is also true.
If you are also in such a situation, then this article must be helpful for your life. Please keep reading.
What Is Love?
Even though love is difficult to define, everyone understands what it means. When you feel a close connection to someone, feel romantically attracted to them, and want to spend the rest of your life with them. There are many different kinds of love, but to make it simpler, we’ll just focus on romantic love in this post.
The emergence of love can happen quickly or gradually. It can be sensible or irrational, like any other emotion. It can be difficult to distinguish between love and lust when it comes to some people, and you may not even understand why you fell in love with them.
Since the dawn of humanity, stories and fables have focused on the subject of love. Humans are intelligent creatures that are capable of more than just reproducing. They can find intimate partners, though falling in love can be difficult.
What Is Hate?
Hatred develops from a mix of specific emotions, just like love. For whatever reason, there are some people you don’t like. They may be a perfectly respectable person, but they irritate you for some reason. Then there are those that you might dislike. You are disappointed in them or fear them.
Hatred is when you despise, resent, and become enraged at the mere thought of someone. Hatred is not reserved for those who irritate you, but for those who have done something truly terrible and deserving of your rage. Read More: Why Does My Wife Hate Me: Signs, Reasons, Solutions
Similarities With And The Line Between Love And Hate
The relationship between love and hate has been explored in popular media over the years, including in the 1996 film “A Thin Line Between Love and Hate” starring Martin Lawrence.
Perhaps the reason love and hatred are so closely connected is that the two emotions have many of the same components. Let’s examine some of the many ways in which these two emotions are comparable. You will perhaps see why so many people believe that they are two sides of the same coin.
Strong Emotions
Extreme feelings like hatred and devotion exist. Saying “I love this person a little” or “I hate them a little” is like saying, “I’m a little bit pregnant.” Either you feel them strongly, or they’re rightly defined with a different word, such as “like” or “dislike.” It’s difficult to be objective about a relationship when you’re experiencing a strong emotion, such as love or hate.
If your relationship ends, it’s going to be difficult to simply shrug your shoulders and say, “Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be. It’s no big deal.” No, you’re likely to experience a very intense emotional response to that loss. There may be a seed of hatred there.
Directed To Another
Emotions can be directed at people, things, or even just yourself. In a relationship, one person is the target of both love and hate. You tend to expect your feelings for someone close to you to be reciprocated because you are so intently focused on them.
Nobody else has the ability to fulfill that desire. Therefore, your disappointment can easily turn to hatred when they don’t care for you in the same way that you do for them.
Are You Able To Distinguish Between Love And Hate?
Of course, researchers can. According to this study, people’s brains behave differently when they are feeling hatred than when they are feeling the love.
When individuals are “loving” significant areas of the cerebral cortex (the brain region responsible for planning and organizing) are turned off. On the other hand, smaller portions of the cerebral cortex are disabled when someone feels hate.
Can You Love And Hate The Same Person?
I’ll tell you something, you can’t really love someone while you’re hating them. But if the circumstances are favorable, it is possible to switch between the two fairly quickly. What then does it take to go from love to hate?
Unreciprocated Love
Continuing to love someone while also hating them for not loving you is possible if they refuse to reciprocate your feelings. Why? Because they both give you great pleasure and great pain.
Lack Of Freedom
There should always be a healthy amount of giving and taking in a committed relationship. In other words, there should be cooperation and compromise. You can’t always get what you want, and you do have to give up some of your personal desires to take care of the people you care about.
There are a few ways that this can result in losing one’s freedom, though. You might be in a dysfunctional, abusive relationship, for instance, if one partner is excessively domineering and controlling.
Therefore, even if you have some sort of love for the person, you may still dislike them for severely restricting your freedom and way of life.
Another scenario is one in which both partners are equal in the relationship but one partner simply does not enjoy giving up their freedom for the benefit of the union. But if they continue the relationship, they might grow resentful and bitter, which would make it simple for them to swing back and forth between love and hate.
Vulnerability Scares You
You can usually be your truest, most genuine, and most raw self when you’re with the person you love. You don’t have to put on a show, act like someone else, or try to impress them.
It can be genuinely frightening, though, to be so vulnerable. In the beginning, you don’t have the option of hiding your true self from your partner. Second, the likelihood that you will be injured increases with your level of openness and vulnerability.
Love is the cause of this vulnerability. The consequences can occasionally hurt, though, and depending on how to hurt you are, you might start to harbor animosity toward your partner.
You Hate Someone Because They’re “bad”
Sometimes, hate is something we use to protect ourselves from a “bad” person. They might not actually be that bad, but your mind makes them out to be. You’ll be able to hate them with justification in this way. Hatred can occasionally hide the fact that being around that person makes you feel helpless and vulnerable.
What You Love About Your Partner Is What You Hate About Them
Do you recall when you first started dating your partner and you were completely smitten for specific reasons? Guess what, those same motivations may very well be the ones that drive you crazy today.
In a nutshell, it happens quite frequently that what you love about your partner also makes you angry. Perhaps you admire your partner’s social skills because you lack them. But if you prefer to stay in, and he or she invites guests over for dinner without consulting you, this could be a source of contention.
Perhaps you fell in love with your partner because they always found the good in situations and could make others smile. He or she simply has a light disposition and loves to make others laugh. However, there are times when it can seriously backfire.
Why? Because you wish they would listen to you, take you seriously, or at least pause and consider what you have to say.
Even though these are straightforward situations, they show what can happen in bonds between people whose feelings for one another change over time.
How Can You Manage Your Emotions Throughout A Fight?
The chances are against you when things are chaotic, as you can see. You may love your partner with all of your heart, but if something happens that causes you to fight, your love may change very quickly. How can you argue without tripping over the sliver of love that separates you from hate?
Here are some techniques for managing your emotions, even though it can be challenging.
- Respect each other’s space. Going away for a while will help you cool off when your emotions are running high. Love and hate are both irrational emotions that won’t help the situation. Instead, leave the conversation for now and return to it later on.
- Recognize that these feelings are passing. You two can love each other once the disagreement has been resolved.
- Bring a third party with you. If you can keep your cool, you might be able to negotiate a fair compromise.
- Look for a secure location to let your bad emotions run wild. In another room, through a stress ball, or somewhere else where you can’t hurt anyone.
- Gain control over your anger. The situation may not always be the only source of your rage. You might have a hard time managing your anger, and you’ll do much better if you can.
- Being angry at the person who rejected your love won’t make the situation better, so stop trying. Try to find someone else to fall in love with instead.
