Many couples who are going through a difficult time in their relationship decide to take a break and live separately for a while. Some of these separations result in divorce. Others, however, find their way back to their partners and decide to get married again.
Does the likelihood of continuing a previous relationship correlate with the typical amount of time spent apart before reconciling? To learn more about reconciliation, please read this article.
What Is The Average Number Of Divorces
American divorce rates are comparatively high. 43% of marriages dissolve into divorce or separation within 15 years of the wedding, according to CDC.gov.
At different stages of marriage, separation and divorce are more likely than they are. In the vast majority of relationships, there is a rising-falling pattern.
Dr. Victor William Harris of the University of Florida claims that a typical marriage goes through three stages.
- The first stage is romantic love, which begins before the wedding and continues for several years after.
- The second stage of disillusionment and distraction is when the couple realizes that marriage takes work and compromise.
- Adjustment or dissolution constitutes the third stage. If a couple is unable to handle the new circumstances, about 40% of them decide to separate or get divorced.
In addition to the previously mentioned stages, Michele Weiner-Davis, LCSW, adds a few of her own.
She distinguishes the phase in which partners attempt to alter one another in her article for Psychology Today titled “The Marriage Map.” They either seek out peaceful coexistence or decide to end their relationship once they realize they cannot win.
Research on the relationship between the length of a union and separation was done by M. According to Jalovaara, the amount of conflict between the spouses increases over the course of the first seven years of marriage.
If the conflict does not end after the first few years of marriage, the marriage will only get worse and eventually end in divorce or separation.
What Is The Chance Of Reconciling After A Separation
There hasn’t been much research done on reconciliation after separation. However, a number of surveys can help to clarify the situation.
Dr. In his investigation of divorce and remarriage in the US, 506 women who tried reconciliation had their outcomes studied by Howard Wineberg. 50% of them got divorced eventually, and 44% were still living with their spouses.
But according to the author, only 32% of couples who split up again managed to reconcile and maintain their relationship for at least a year.
The likelihood of reconciliation is also impacted by the causes of separation. Couples who split up due to incompatibility, domestic abuse, or substance abuse, for instance, have a lower likelihood of reconciling.
On the other hand, the explanations that are more frequently taken into account or pardoned are:
- Growing apart (but wanting to save the marriage);
- Conflicts about children’s upbringing;
- Having a difficult time managing your marriage while dealing with outside distractions (moving, kids having school problems, money problems, etc.);
- recurring splits and comebacks, etc.
Average Separation Length Before Reconciliation
Separation does not always mean the end of a marriage, and not all separated partners seek a divorce. A sizable portion of couples who stopped cohabitating due to marital issues reunites in the end.
More than half of the families reconnected after a few years of living apart, according to the 1987–2003 National Survey of Families and Households.
Only 38.1% of respondents who experienced separation between 1989 and 1993—3% of the sample—went on to get married, according to the final findings.
Eighty-one percent of those who remained married reconciled by 2003. Before the couples got back together, there had been an average separation of 1-2 years.
How Long Can You Be Separated Before You Can Get Back Together?
According to Susan Pease Gadoua, a couple of therapists and the author of “Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go,” a couple should give themselves six months to decide whether to stay or go. The duration, however, may be prolonged for some couples who are dealing with more serious marital issues.
The University of Colorado’s research on divorce separation also supports the efficacy of a 6-month period. Finding out how newly separated couples changed during the first eight months was one of its goals.
2 out of 50 study participants had reconciled, 23 had divorced, and 1 had remarried six months after the study began. The other 23 stayed apart.
When those separated couples were questioned about possibly getting back together, nearly all said they would file for divorce.
Reasons Spouses Choose Separation Over Divorce
Separation can occasionally be a more advantageous decision than divorce. Which conditions are those?
- In some states, there are no-fault grounds for divorce that only apply to separations that occur within a year. Neither spouse is required to establish the other’s guilt, in other words.
- Many religions, including Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism, do not support divorce and view remarriage as adulterous.
- Together, the couple wants to file their tax returns. According to CNBC.com, tax rates for married couples are preferable to those for single people.
Nowadays, couples can choose from a variety of separation options. One of them is physical, the other is legal. The second one does not require a court order, but the first one does.
Physical separation can occasionally be used as a transitional period, allowing couples to decide what to do next.
If both parties are willing to resolve family issues and change their minds about previously divisive issues, it is possible to re-establish a marriage after a divorce. These reconciliation-related steps should all be completed within a year or two, according to the studies mentioned above.
Otherwise, there is a chance that the couple will permanently lose interest in one another and the separation will lead to divorce.