If you’re wondering if it’s acceptable for your boyfriend to hit you, you should know that violence is never acceptable. We are going to explain why it is never acceptable for your boyfriend to hit you and what you should do if you are hit by him.
Abusive behavior is a sign that the person doesn’t agree with you, is upset with you, feels the need to correct you for the way you think, speak, or act, and is emotionally unstable. Whether it’s the first time or not, your boyfriend will hit you again without a doubt.
An abusive man has little to no regard or love for you, and hitting you is nothing short of destructive. True love is benevolent and protective. Being treated with respect, consideration, and affection by your boyfriend is what is expected. Please keep reading.
Is It Normal For My Boyfriend To Hit Me?
No matter what you said or did, it is never acceptable for your boyfriend to hit you. Simply put, hitting is improper. He can tell you without hitting you if he thinks there are areas in which you need to grow.
All your boyfriend has to do is tell you that the things you do hurt him in a non-judgmental way. Then, he can begin formulating specific plans for how to advance alongside you after completing that.
In contrast, if he hits you, he puts distance between himself and you, increases his power, and makes you less important.
Whatever you do, don’t mistakenly believe that hitting someone demonstrates love, passion, or healthy possessiveness. Men and women who believe their partner should have complete control over the relationship completely submit to them.
They accept their fate and frequently lead the lives that their partners want them to lead. In severe cases, they may even experience isolation, develop emotional and financial dependence, lose their aspirations and sense of direction, and cede their right to express themselves and wear whatever they want.
Although things may not be all that bad right now, you don’t want to fall victim to the “battery woman” (or “batterer man”) syndrome and continue to put up with the abuse just because your partner occasionally has a good day.
Success in a romantic relationship isn’t just measured by the good times.
It has to do with how people deal with the challenging aspects of their relationships and how open they are to change and improvement. They’re more likely to form a close bond and handle challenging situations with maturity the more they’re willing to swallow their pride and put themselves in their partner’s shoes.
Further Reading: Is It Normal For My Girlfriend To Hit Me?
Should You Be Concerned If Your Boyfriend Hits You For The First Time?
Assault, or physical abuse, is considered to occur whenever one person hits another.
You might believe that this is the first time you’ve experienced abuse, but other forms of abuse frequently come before physical abuse.
Review your relationship past with your husband. Do they frequently criticize you? Toss insults at you or forbid you from seeing loved ones? Have they publicly embarrassed you? Obstructed the way out of a room? Denied the seriousness of their behavior or made it seem like you were being overly sensitive?
All of these behaviors are emotionally (and verbally) abusive—and each of them may be a sign of future physical abuse.
A number of studies have also shown that once a man has used violence, there is a chance that he will do so again, possibly even more severely. Because of this, I strongly advise both individual and couples therapy for you and your husband.
However, if you ever feel unsafe, you should leave right away and call the police.
Why Does Your Boyfriend Hit You?
Here are some reasons your boyfriend hits you:
- Abusers Have An Intense Need To Control The Women They Love
- Abusers Often Do Genuinely Love The Women They Beat Up
- Abusers Typically Blame Their Girlfriends For Forcing Them To Be Violent
- And Women Typically Blame Themselves For Provoking Their Boyfriends
- When Abusers Apologize, It’s Another Form Of Taking Control
- Guys Who Abuse Are Insecure And Have Poor Impulse Control
- When Guys Abuse, They Feel Entitled To Do It
- If Your Boyfriend Is Violent, It’s Unlikely He Will Be Cured
Abusers Have An Intense Need To Control The Women They Love
The most common misconception about these men is that they struggle with “anger management.” They don’t.
They don’t lose it at their place of employment or the motorist who swerves into their lane. Rather, they feel a strong need to control how their loved one behaves, including her appearance and her movements and interactions with others.
Because of this, they frequently constantly call or text the subject of their affections so they are aware of what she is doing at all times, even before they resort to using physical violence to maintain control.
Abusers Often Do Genuinely Love The Women They Beat Up
In fact, they are frequently deeply in love with their girlfriends or wives, which makes them even more possessive and jealous. They just aren’t sure how to say it. They most likely grew up in a violent household.
Abusers Typically Blame Their Girlfriends For Forcing Them To Be Violent
An abuser will tell himself and his girlfriend that she instigated the fight by staring at another man, dressing in a short skirt, or taking too long to clean the kitchen.
Further Reading:
- Why Does My Wife Yell At Me: 7 Ways You React
- Why Is My Husband Yelling At Me: 12 Ways To Deal With
- Why Does My Wife Hate Me: Signs, Reasons, Solutions
And Women Typically Blame Themselves For Provoking Their Boyfriends
They are duped into thinking that they are guilty of wrongdoing. “It was my fault that I made him believe I was lying.”
When Abusers Apologize, It’s Another Form Of Taking Control
Men who abuse women can display dramatic remorse, sobbing, pleading for forgiveness, and vowing never to use violence again. The usual can include flowers and presents.
An abused girlfriend may be completely persuaded back into continuing the relationship because the apologies seem so sincere.
Guys Who Abuse Are Insecure And Have Poor Impulse Control
They can sometimes appear totally stable and normal, which is strange. They may present themselves as completely nice guys at work. The intense fits of rage and violence are caused by the fear of losing their girlfriend or losing control over her.
When Guys Abuse, They Feel Entitled To Do It
They are of the opinion that they have the right to exert control over the situation by any means necessary. If the police show up, they feel justified in their actions rather than embarrassed.
If Your Boyfriend Is Violent, It’s Unlikely He Will Be Cured
The majority of abusers do not receive the necessary care to stop. They don’t want assistance because they think they are in the right.
The frequency of the beatings will probably increase over time as well. Make a plan to leave as soon as possible and enlist the aid of your close friends, family, or a domestic abuse organization.
If a Man Hits You, Can He Change?
Everyone is capable of evolving and getting better. Sadly, the majority of people do not desire change. Instead of needing to reflect on their own shortcomings and actions, they would rather place blame elsewhere.
If you’re wondering whether your boyfriend can change after hitting you, it depends on how he hit you, why he hit you, and how sorry he is.
He might be able to change if you caused him or his family to lose their health, reputation, or well-being and he gave you a light tap for that. But for things to change, he needs to know that you won’t say or do anything similar in the future.
You’re still a team right now and you can solve problems if you want to because you’re still together. To move past your current selves, you should decide whether you can forgive each other.
Your boyfriend, however, is unlikely to change if he struck you because he lacks self-control and is an angry man. He’ll keep wanting to be in charge of his love affairs and might even do other relationship-harming things.
As a result, he will continue to feel victimized and seek retribution as a pain reaction. A guy like that needs to be dumped immediately because he could undermine your confidence in yourself and your ability to trust men.
What to Do If Your Boyfriend Hits You?
What is the remedy for this phobia? How can women gain the backing of their families to have the guts to report abuse and violence? Both domestic violence cases and live-in relationships increased significantly as a result of the pandemic.
You shouldn’t remain silent!
You Need Emotional Support
Accepting that what has happened to you is not a secret and that you need the help of your friends and family to get through it is crucial. With their assistance, you can move forward if you discuss it with your closest friends and family. Getting a therapist or counselor’s assistance is also crucial.
“You need to get emotional support in the form of counseling to make sense of what has happened,” says Jeanette. “You will experience disillusionment, betrayal, and a loss of trust in addition to physical harm.”
You Can Make Sure That You Are Safe
Your partner has already demonstrated that he has a violent temper, so it is obvious that you should proceed with caution. Involve the authorities to protect yourself if you think you are in any way in danger.
“You can seek out a free place of safety for abused women, you can apply for a protection order at a magistrate’s office and you can open a case of assault with the police,” says Jeanette.
FAQs
How Do You Deal With An Aggressive Boyfriend?
Here are a few sensible solutions for handling an irate spouse.
- Reduce the intensity and neutralize the emotions.
- Be assertive and courteous.
- Develop constructive communication, comprehension, and validation.
- Develop your compassion and patience.
- Consider the big picture and pick your battles.
- Understand the triggers by reflecting on your behavior.
What Is It Called When a Man Hits a Woman in a Relationship?
Domestic abuse also called “domestic violence” or “intimate partner violence”, can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
Final Thoughts: Learn to Protect Yourself
When you’re being abused or duped, it might seem like everyone experiences this, but that isn’t the case. There are people out there who would never hit you or cheat on you.
In addition to harming you, an abusive relationship will eventually harm your children and extended family. Risking all of that on a violent boyfriend is simply not worthwhile.
Therefore, know that it’s wrong for your boyfriend to hit you, regardless of how old you are or how much you care for him. Even though he may be a guy, hitting you is disrespectful and abusive. You deserve better.
Further Reading: 18 Signs Your Husband Isn’t in Love With You
