Following a toxic relationship, you can rebuild your true self by following these fifteen steps for learning to love yourself.
We must develop the ability to be our own best friends because sometimes we are all too quick to become our own worst enemies. We are drawn to the idea of being loved by others, but we often neglect to love ourselves.
There are so many external forces at play that can cause us to seriously question our own self-worth, and there is no clear-cut way to know how to exactly love yourself. The art of loving yourself can be practiced, though, and there are some things you can do to help.
Take Your Time With Emotions
Your feelings have undergone a hellish ordeal. They were ignored, shut down, and thought to be unnecessary. Your frank, human responses might have gotten you in trouble. Your self-worth is drained away by a toxic person, who then replaces it with negativity, insecurities, and doubt.
The healing process won’t be straightforward because you survived a storm. Giving your emotions the time and space they need will help you as they shift back to feeling valid. Be patient, embrace them, and give them the attention they’ve been missing out on all this time. The time is now to pay them respects.
Don’t Pick Up Unhealthy Behavior
Those quick fixes to feel better, like smoking, binge drinking, etc., are not going to help you. This is not what you deserve. You must start with respect if you want to learn to love yourself again. Avoid acting in a toxic way as that person did to you.
Keep your distance from them as well. Don’t text or call them. Do not look at their social media accounts. When they contact you, don’t answer them. Don’t find ways to know what’s going on with them. Remember the reason you left them. Keep your choice in mind.
Free yourself from all the things that keep them around. Included in this are any images, presents, notes, phone numbers, etc. Take all necessary steps to eliminate them from your life.
Let Go of All Your Regrets and past Mistakes
In order to truly love yourself, you’re going to have to let go of all the what-ifs that consume your mind. Since nothing will change no matter how much you think or dwell on the past, it’s not a good habit to get into. You only have control over the decisions you make in the here and now.
Dwelling on the past is just going to lead you to negative thoughts which focus on your faults and flaws, rather than on the aspects of yourself that are good. It’s important to stay as positive as you can while loving yourself. The tendency is to focus on the negative aspects of your life, which will cause you to love yourself less.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Stopping your negative self-talk is necessary if you want to truly understand how to love yourself. Making no comparisons to other people is the simplest way to achieve this. In academic and professional settings where grades and promotions are almost always a political game, this is the hardest thing to do. Your value is unaffected by what happens to other people outside of you.
Engage in self-compassion exercises when you see others succeed for the benefit of your mental health. And even if you end up on the short end of things, try to be happy for others. Your time will come. Maybe not in that environment. But in the end, we all get what we want. You deserve respect, and comparison breeds a lack of it. Self-blame is not necessary for a failure or someone else’s success.
Do Things That Make You Happy
Since your passion is what makes you feel good about yourself, doing it regularly is one of the quickest ways to learn to love yourself. Therefore, you have more room to love yourself when you’re feeling good. Whether it’s watching a movie or picking up a guitar, engaging in your interests or passions will generally make you happier and more optimistic.
Not to mention that spending time on your interests makes you proud of yourself for making the time for them when it’s so simple to get sucked into our daily lives.
Focus Less on Winning the Approval of Others
You don’t have to follow the crowd, so remind yourself of that. You also don’t need approval if you want to do it a different way. Your time here on earth is limited. As the saying goes, “Because you are trading a day of your life for it, what you do today matters.” Don’t wait around for someone else to approve of your existence.
Distance Yourself from Those Who Bring You Down
It is preferable to not be in a relationship than to be in the wrong one. Don’t obsess over people who don’t worry about you. When you give yourself to people who treat you poorly, you lose; therefore, know your worth. Friends in life should uplift, respect, and inspire you.
Your social group should be diverse and encouraging. Always prioritize quality over quantity, so keep it tight!
Give Up Hate and Anger
I realize how difficult this is. Time will undoubtedly be needed. But one of the most effective ways to recover from them is to let go of the intense feelings you have for that person. They didn’t merit it, really. You don’t necessarily have to think positive thoughts about them. Really, it’s not even about them.
Both anger and hatred are extremely draining feelings. That person already caused a great deal of damage. Your progress toward loving yourself again will be slowed if you let this negativity fester inside of you.
Stay Close to Your Friends
Don’t isolate yourself from the one person who inspires you. Other people pushing you forward will help you return to yourself more quickly. Let out your emotions and all of your stress, doubts, and fears. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Additionally, get back in touch with anyone you may have drifted away from while in that toxic relationship. Express regret for any errors you may have made. Reconnect with the people who give you power.
It’s crucial to avoid dwelling on the things you wish you could change in the present, in the same way, that you shouldn’t dwell on your regrets from the past. You might be feeling like you haven’t achieved the career goals you had for this time in your life or that you haven’t developed into the person you had envisioned for yourself.
While some pressure is healthy, this way of thinking places too much pressure on yourself to change things right away. Accepting who you are in this season of your life without putting undue pressure on yourself is the first step in loving yourself. The more you worry that you’re not where you want to be, the more you’ll overthink everything in your life, which will again make you feel bad.
Increase Positive Emotions
Your true self is a cheerful individual. Years of bullying, abuse, or contact with toxic people are the root causes of pessimism and low self-esteem. Self-love is a skill that you must learn. You can switch out negative thoughts for positive ones.
When things don’t go according to plan, be kind to yourself. Go out or dance while you cook—do whatever makes you happy. Read uplifting sayings, show yourself unwavering affection, and permit happiness to enter your life.
To reduce the amount of drama in your life, you might perform daily acts of kindness for other people. Eliminating nasty people can relieve some of your burdens. You can compose a love letter to your future self to serve as a constant reminder of how significant you are. Work to overcome any disappointment you may be experiencing so that you can guide your life in a more positive direction.
Give Yourself a Fair Chance to Explore New Ideas and Opportunities
Don’t let the uncertainty of the outcome prevent you from starting. When we take action, uncertainty follows us into the open, where chance waits. And keep in mind that failure is a necessary part of success over the long term.
Therefore, don’t let your fear of choosing incorrectly stop you from making any decision at all.
Listen to Your Intuition and Be Honest With Yourself About Everything
Speaking truthfully about a way of life we don’t follow is impossible. We need more sincere storytellers rather than more flashy ones. Pay attention to the voice inside. Knowing what you’re doing is right and right for you is the first step toward developing confidence.
The secret is to recognize what you want, accept it as a part of who you are, and have confidence in your ability to obtain it.
After leaving a toxic relationship, our identity can seem blurry. We have to get back to who we really are if we want to love ourselves again. Regain awareness of who you are, what matters to you, and what you want out of life. This is a chance for you to be a more secure and assured version of yourself rather than just who you used to be.
Free Yourself from Their Voice
They might’ve criticized you relentlessly, made you compare yourself to others, reduced your self-esteem to bits and pieces, and made you feel like you’re not enough. Furthermore, it’s possible that this affected how you view yourself.
It is crucial to silence their voice, which might at this point resemble your own. The last action is not to leave that person. The path to loving yourself again involves overcoming all the ways in which they diminished your power.
You should pay close attention to your self-esteem. Do you still see yourself the way they used to? What doubts about your value do you have? If so, you should be aware that neither your thoughts nor those of others are true. The way you chose to leave that person, choose to walk away from their voice in your head.
Conclusion: Love Yourself Again
In the end, individuals will come and go. Things come and go. Day and night will come and go. On the other hand, if you nurture it, true love for yourself will always be there. A much more beautiful life is waiting for you, and by loving yourself, you can make it happen even though it may not seem that way right now.
You already took a significant step in the direction of your well-being; keep moving forward, and I’m confident you’ll succeed. You will move on from this. You will.