Sometimes we don’t understand the reasons behind our romantic relationships. There could be more than one or two causes, as well. We have listed a few common ones here.
When we fall in love, why? Since love is one of the strongest and most profound emotions that our mind and heart cannot control, this is a question that most people struggle to answer. Sometimes, we go to extreme lengths for love and can do anything and everything for the person we love.
Here are the reasons why people fall in love:
Compatibility
Compatibility is a key element in the process of falling in love. Physical attraction is not a factor in compatibility; rather, it is how well you relate to and get along with each other.
When you and your partner have similar interests, and shared values, and the majority of your opinions align, it indicates that you two get along well and strengthens your relationship.
Intimacy
One might compare falling in love for private reasons to having a simple friendship; it lacks commitment and passion. “Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn’t necessarily have to be for sex,” said Henry. “Sometimes it’s self-serving. Everybody enjoys experiencing love and care. Men and women both want to feel their masculinity and femininity.”
Adele’s song Hello is a perfect example of how intimacy is captured. Adele contacts her ex-boyfriend and expresses her heartbreak from the relationship in the song’s chorus.
She explains that despite the passage of time, little healing has been accomplished. “Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship,” he said.
Passion
It’s normal to allow ourselves to fall in love because of desire or strong feelings for someone. Sexual attraction, physical interest, and romantic feelings give rise to passionate love.
“When you see someone you like, you are captivated by something that draws you to that person,” explained Henry. “The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes, and body.”
With the person you love, infatuation develops in the absence of intimacy and commitment. “People are drawn, and lust develops very quickly. Some people who are obsessed may view that person as an object. You can be with someone for years and don’t feel there is a commonality between you and that person,” he said.
Further Reading: Why Do Men Love Women?
Commitment
Commitment is complete love. “People who seek commitment want stability and a healthy relationship,” he said. “People who only want commitment may not have any interest in basic friendships or sexual attraction.”
According to Henry, in modern times, young adults are interested in objects more than relationships. “The objectification comes from consumerism,” he explained. “People are less interested in commitments as culture becomes more consumeristic.
Some young people are more concerned with making an impression on people they don’t care about. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people.”
Attraction
One of the factors that contribute to falling in love, especially in the beginning, is attraction. There are other factors besides just physical attraction, such as emotional and sexual ones. The similarity in interests, wealth, status, or intelligence may also attract some people.
The feeling can be classified as infatuation, though, if the attraction takes center stage and there is no closeness or intimacy. In other words, you are attracted to someone but don’t actually know much about them. True love is a combination of attraction plus closeness, which usually develops with time.
Connection
You might fall in love when you two are genuinely connected. Humans seek relationships or bonds that will improve our lives. It becomes a satisfying feeling when we share a deep connection with someone. And we want that sensation to intensify and last throughout our entire lives.
It’s simpler to communicate your feelings and emotions with someone when you have a genuine connection with them. Your life may benefit from this mental connection.
Similarities
This includes a person’s shared beliefs as well as, to a lesser extent, personality traits, and thought processes.
You must have heard the expression, ‘opposites attract.’ But one of the common reasons you fall in love with someone is because you both are ‘like-minded’ or share similarities – you both love reading books, you both are travelers, you both are spiritual or you both love exploring history. It facilitates the development of a close and personal bond between you two and causes you to fall in love.
Need Fulfillment
While some of us seek a partner for the closeness and intimacy it can bring, others are looking for a potential social status boost. The people we fall in love with usually fill a need in our lives, whether it be a hug or a trophy.
An Air of Mystery
There’s something alluring about people who are a little mysterious to us, even though we do have a tendency to become attracted to people we like and spend a lot of time with.
This may help to explain a person’s attraction to someone from a different culture, or as Phillips suggests, it may also be the particular cause of some people’s infatuation with criminals.
Parent’s Resemblance
We have grown up seeing our parents. Some people use their parents as role models when deciding what qualities to look for in a partner. Finding someone with similar physical characteristics or behavioral traits may make you want to be in a relationship with them. Making the distinction between good and bad traits may also be helpful.
Sense of Humor
He makes you have a loud laugh. She is hilarious.
A good laugh can fill the air with positivity. Having a partner with a good sense of humor can help you de-stress, feel good, and make life so much easier. It’s one of the good qualities that attract people to potential life partners and makes them fall in love.
Genuineness
When you feel that a person is being honest with you, sincere in their feelings, and not masking their emotions to always be “perfect,” that person may be someone you want to be with. This is one of the traits you might want in a romantic relationship
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to identify one’s own emotions as well as those of others, to differentiate between various emotions, and to label these emotions appropriately is known as emotional intelligence.
It can benefit a romantic relationship because it gives one the impression that their partner understands them.
Conclusion: Why Do People Fall in Love?
General attraction and social factors work together to produce romantic love. When someone likes or is attracted to you, it can make you like them more, which can develop into romantic love. People can fall in love when their potential relationship conforms to social norms.
The kind of love we choose defines who we are, regardless of what psychology has to say about it. We each understand what brings us joy and satisfies our basic human needs in our own unique way.
FAQs
Do We Choose Who We Fall in Love With?
Falling in love can feel like it’s totally out of your hands but experts seem to agree that — at least to an extent — there’s a choice involved. Given that you must make a decision at some point during the relationship, it is yet another example of how important it is to approach dating with the right mindset.
Who Usually Falls in Love First?
Women don’t fall in love as quickly as people think. Actually, science said in relationships between cisgender men and women, men are more likely to declare love at first sight. According to a recent study, men actually experience romantic feelings more quickly than women do.
