If you still love your partner but aren’t in love, what happens? These are ten strategies for you to fall in love with your partner again.
Being more or less in love with your partner at different times is completely normal. But it hurts to experience dry spells in a relationship that make you feel hopeless or worry about its future.
However, a breakup can leave you hurt and bewildered. Particularly if the break-up was disastrous, it’s common to wonder if it’s possible to find a new and fulfilling relationship. It might be challenging to consider falling in love once more.
Treat Your Partner With Kindness
As obvious as it may seem, kindness is the secret to preserving a relationship. According to research, acting more lovingly actually increases your feelings of affection. Try to be kind in your communication with your partner in any situation, whether it be personal or practical. Even during heated exchanges, this soothes your partner.
A huge payoff and a million rewards come from continuing to be loving and giving. It improves your self-confidence and makes room for your partner to eventually get closer to you.
It enables you to feel for your partner’s experience independently of your own, allowing you to be more sympathetic toward them and increase your own feelings of interest, attraction, and tenderness.
Take Advantage of What You Love About Your Partner
Think about the qualities you admire and love most about your partner. What attributes or traits amuse or inspire you? Continue introducing new activities if you like that they are daring. If you enjoy their sense of humor, use humor when speaking with them.
Make an effort to connect with them every day rather than getting distracted by other things if you value their warmth and affection.
Pay attention to the subtle and overt qualities they exhibit that make you happy. Some examples that people have shared with me recently are “the way my husband plays with our kids after a long day,” “the smile my girlfriend gives me any time I look up from my computer when I work from home,” “the way he’s never judgmental when I tell him things I’m ashamed of,” “the way she supports me when I’m attempting something that gives me anxiety.”
Do Something to Make Your Partner’s Life Better
You might be trying to find ways to feel more connected to your S.O. since you’re the one reading this article. rather than doing things for someone whom you feel a little detached from. But, stay with me: Since “love” is a verb, “when you lead with action, your heart tends to follow,” says Philadelphia-based psychologist Seth J. Gillihan holds a Ph.D.
“Plan something unexpected, like doing one of their chores or making them a nice lunch,” he says. Doing so reminds your brain that this person is important to you—and seeing their “Aww, thanks babe” reaction will likely make you feel all giddy again.
Spend Time Away from Each Other
Contrary to common sense, sometimes you need some distance to rekindle the spark when things start to go a little moldy. Giving yourself the time and space to be your own person is what I mean by this instead of flying around the country for a month.
“When two people feel their relationship has gone stale, it may feel to them as if they’ve grown apart,” says Stephen Snyder, MD, a sex and relationship therapist and author of Love Worth Making. “But a lot of the time, the issue is that, without one another, they were unable to develop as individuals.”
Ask Yourself What They Need
When you feel distant from your partner, it’s not always because there isn’t passion; instead, it could be because there is resentment present. That stems from your perception of yourself as the victim and of them as the perpetrator.
Therefore, Gillihan advises taking a moment to consider what they are going through and what their specific needs might be—both now and in the future. Are they starving or worn out? Do they need to be embraced?
When you’re in the midst of an argument, which occurs more frequently when your relationship has hit a rough patch, these questions may be especially helpful to ask yourself. “Then see if there’s anything you can do to meet that need,” Gillihan says.
Responding to their needs, just like doing something nice for them, can make them feel closer to you, which, in turn, can make you feel closer to them and help you fall in love again.
Recall the Things You Love About Them
You didn’t fall in love without a reason. Even though you can feel your affection for them waning, there are still aspects of them that you adore.
Make a list of the positive traits your partner possesses, or simply think back to those things.
Of course, this does not imply that you should disregard flaws or warning signs. Be mindful as you reflect on all that your partner has done for you. Instead of blaming them for their mistakes, consider their positive traits for a moment.
Be Open to Something New
It won’t feel the same to fall in love again as it did the first time. Numerous things will change, almost certainly for the better. It’s important to keep in mind the reasons you fell in love, but resist the urge to hold onto the past. Be open to change.
There will be development and growth in a good relationship. To love your partner through their changes is imperative. You can keep from losing love again if you can learn to do that.
Do Some Soul-Searching
You and your partner are not at fault just because you have grown apart. Perhaps neither of you actually committed wrongdoing.
Even so, taking a look inside can be beneficial, particularly if you have a support system. What do you hope to get out of this relationship? What led to your growing distance? Is there anything you could do differently this time?
You must know yourself before deciding to put effort into a relationship. Don’t jump back in before you are sure of your intentions.
Support Their Individuality
Your partner is unique in their own right. As you fall back in love with them, you have to understand you won’t do everything together. It’s fine to encourage them to try out new things on their own.
If they start showing interest in something, encourage it. For them, it will mean the world, even though it may not mean much to you. They should do the same for you as you look for novel experiences to try. Build each other up.
Understand Their Love Languages — and Yours
Discuss your love languages with your partner in a sincere and open manner. Likewise, express an interest in learning their language and understanding it.
Even if they show you their love by showering you with thoughtful gifts, if you value quality time more than gifts, you might feel left out. They may feel ignored if you express your love to them verbally but they prefer physical contact.
Know how your partner likes to be loved and how they like to be loved. Once you are aware, you can communicate your love to them in their own language. They can also help you in the same way.