It is an amazing experience to love and be loved in return. The difference between being in love and just attachment, lustful, or passionate is not always clear to people. People might feel uncertain about their shared love and relationship as a result of this confusion, which can encourage doubt rather than commitment.
This article describes how to distinguish between love and attachment as well as the differences between the two.
What Is Love
Genuine love is a very nuanced feeling. There are numerous other feelings that frequently resemble some of the fundamental aspects of love. When experiencing feelings that you’ve never felt before, it can be challenging to tell if what you are feeling is true love.
We typically concentrate on developing an emotional bond with the people we love when we are in a relationship with them. Our partner inspires positive feelings that should raise our self-esteem because we love and appreciate them for everything they are.
Although we have needs of our own, we prioritize those of our significant other and make sure there is room for compromise. Almost anything that comes your way will be able to be overcome by the strong bond that you and your partner share.
What Is Attachment
We frequently enter into relationships to satisfy our needs when we are attached to someone. Being attached to someone implies that we are getting something from the connection that keeps us there, such as approval, support, or relief from our own issues.
All parties involved frequently suffer from these kinds of self-centered relationships. The highs and lows are usually much stronger when people develop unhealthy attachments or unwarranted dependence on their significant other, despite the fact that attachment can seem like love.
People can use certain telltale signs to determine whether they are attached or in love.
Differences Between Love And Attachment
Love Is Selfless; Attachment Is Selfish
When you’re in love, your main concern is making the other person happy. You’re constantly considering ways to make your partner feel loved and content.
You aren’t keeping score, arguing over who contributes more or getting into a fight over who gets to wash the dishes.
You don’t attempt to control your partner’s behavior or use emotional blackmail to exert control over them.
When you’re just emotionally attached to someone, your attention is on how they can make you happy. In order to prevent being abandoned, you may even try to control your partner.
Love Is Passionate; Attachment Is Apathetic
Because it’s believed that hatred is the feeling that most closely resembles love, it’s common to experience rage following a breakup. In reality, this means that there will be fire behind your emotions if you’re in love.
If there was more of an attachment, the breakup of your relationship probably won’t leave you with that burning sensation. You might experience paranoia, anxiety, or occasional irritability, but you won’t feel like a pot of water on the stove that is about to burst.
Josue claims that emotional attachment, or what she refers to as “a strong emotional bond,” is occasionally a component of love and can worsen the pain of endings in loving relationships.
Love Is Hard; Attachment Is Only Difficult When You’re Apart
Love requires effort, dedication, adaptability, and a readiness to be open, vulnerable, and communicative—whether partners are six thousand miles apart or live together. Understanding, support, and patience are the foundations of love. If one or more partners refuse to engage in these behaviors, the relationship is probably more of an attachment than a loved one.
Love Is Liberating; Attachment Is Controlling
You can be who you truly are when there is mutual love. Your partner supports you in being authentic, so you won’t be afraid to admit your flaws. As mutual trust grows, it acts as a potent catalyst for both of your personal development. Love is never in charge. Love actually transcends authority. You can let go of the need to control your life if your partner can accept you for who you are and support you in pursuing your goals.
On the other hand, attachment has a tendency to encourage controlling behavior. You might play mind games, discourage your partner from hanging out with their friends, or place an unhealthy amount of emphasis on winning their approval. You might even make an effort to persuade them to stay with you despite their feelings.
Love Is Mutual Growth; Attachment Is Encumbering
You and your partner will develop together if you’re in love. You’ll improve more than you could have on your own when you both strive to be the best versions of yourself. In other words, you both encourage each other’s growth.
In cases of attachment, your desire for control and inability to resolve your own issues limit both your personal development and that of your partner.
Your unresolved issues put an unnecessary burden on your relationship. It should come as no surprise that this limits both parties’ growth and makes it challenging to love in a healthy way.
Love Can Last Forever; Attachment Comes And Goes
It’s a rare feeling to find someone you truly love. If you’re in real love, the love vs. attachment debate will never go on in your mind. As is frequently said, love is a precious and uncommon emotion.
However, attachment is transient. Being attached to someone is about you, not the other person. The feelings you may have about never wanting to let go of an attachment may therefore change.
While it’s easy to become attached to people, it’s also possible to let go of that attachment.
Love Carries Across The Distance; Attachment Does Not
Have you ever wondered what love feels like? Although it can be difficult to put into words, many will tell you that being in love makes you miss the other person when they are not there.
You don’t feel upset despite the fact that you might miss the person and wish they were present to share special moments with you.
The difference is in attachment love. Not because you want to spend time with them but rather because you miss their kindness toward you, you want to be near that person. Instead of missing the other person, attachment is about missing the ego boost they provide.
Love Accepts You For Who You Are; Attachment Wants You To Change
Love is not about being in charge. To like someone for who they are means to accept them as they are. It’s about putting up with their flaws, putting up with their bad habits, and being there for them when they’re down.
When you are emotionally attached to someone, you want them to be here solely to meet your needs. You’ll want to alter them in a way that will boost your happiness. You don’t want to overlook their mistakes; rather, you want to make sure they don’t repeat them.
Love Is The Willingness To Compromise; Attachment Is Demanding
When you love someone, you will compromise. You are aware that your desires for a relationship may fluctuate over time. Consequently, you make an effort to find a solution that fulfills the needs of the two of you.
Wanting the other person to accommodate your needs is what attachment is all about. You don’t care about the other person’s feelings; all that matters is that you get your way. Always, it’s either your way or the highway.