It’s simple to develop the habit of constantly wanting your partner’s attention when you’re in love, especially in the early stages when every call, text, or in-person meeting is enough to make you a buzz. Being clingy to a partner may start as early as the first few dates. In this article, we will list 5 signs of being clingy and 3 methods for you to manage your clinginess with your partner.
What Does Clingy Mean
having the quality of clinging to someone or something such as tending to stay very close to someone (such as a parent) for emotional support, protection, etc.
Why Do People Become Clingy In Relationships
One characteristic of clingy people is that they struggle with solitude, so when a partner asks them to give them more space, they assume that they don’t enjoy their company. Low self-esteem and emotional insecurity are other factors that can contribute to clinginess.
For instance, you might require constant reassurance from future relationships if you had a bad breakup or a previous partner who cheated on you.
It’s possible for clinginess to be a learned behavior when it’s not the result of a bad relationship experience. If you were exposed to clingy behaviors as a child, you might have come to accept them as the norm.
It’s crucial to understand, however, that in a healthy relationship, the partners should respect each other’s personal space. Although the time spent together is significant, you shouldn’t rely on them emotionally.
The need to direct their every action and complete everything together suggests a deeper problem and shouldn’t be confused with healthy love and attachment.
Possible Signs Of Being Clingy
Text Your Partner Constantly
The truth might be difficult to accept if you frequently engage in these behaviors. There is an underlying reason behind your tendency to cling to partners during relationships, despite the fact that it may not be obvious at first.
You might discover that you constantly text your partner. You might also stress over what to text and how to test it. You might be forced to ask your friends for advice on whether to send a particular message or try to persuade yourself not to send the infamous double text. You might even ask your friends if they think you’re “clingy.”
You might discover on the occasion that you are unable to resist the urge to text. Your uncertainty about texting or not texting may grow. Despite knowing that your partner might not be available, you might give in to the urge to stay in almost constant contact.
A knot in your stomach from wondering why they haven’t responded may develop after 20 minutes and six unanswered messages.
You Fabricate New Interests To Please Or Spend More Time With Your Partner
Pretending to be interested in something you don’t even like or care about is a sign of being overly attached. To spend as much time as possible with your partner, you might try to make concessions regarding what you do and don’t enjoy.
This method has the drawback of making it difficult for your partner to recognize the real you if you’re not sincere.
Being authentic is one of the best things you can do in any situation, especially in a new relationship. It is common and healthy for partners to have various interests.
Additionally, it is acceptable and healthy for partners to try and have similar interests. Making an effort to learn more about your partner’s interests can be an approachable move if they are genuinely trying to introduce you to them or if you just want to get to know them better.
Find Yourself Showing Up In Places Where Your Partner Might Be
Overattachment has potent effects. You might start to long for your partner’s company, which might inspire you to take unusual actions or visit unfamiliar places.
For instance, you might show up at someone’s workplace in an effort to eavesdrop on a brief conversation. To increase your chances of a “serendipitous” encounter, you might go to additional locations they frequent if you are aware of them.
On the other hand, this type of behavior may seem to your partners like an overstepping of boundaries or a lack of trust. Your partner may be flattered by this or genuinely happy to see you.
Always Close By
You might feel as though you are constantly putting pressure on your partner when you are together. This might be a mutually acceptable and entirely healthy way for the two of you to express your attraction.
n the other hand, building a healthy relationship may not be the best course of action if it’s motivated by attention-seeking, insecurity, relationship anxiety, fear of losing him, or any of the other aforementioned emotions.
Let’s say you’re displaying signs of insecurity as a result of your youth, other periods in your past, or because a previous relationship left you open to vulnerability. In that case, you can try to deal with those problems.
You might express your insecurity to your partner, but you should also try to understand that it is not your partner’s responsibility to make you feel better or to make up for past wrongs. Fortunately, you can take healthy measures to feel more secure and deal with insecurity-related issues.
Obsess Over Their Social Media
Everyone seems to have a social media account in this digital age. You may not have had a healthy attachment if you constantly check your partner’s social media posts to see what they are doing. It can be ineffective to focus exclusively on the posts or images on their page.
Numerous emotions can be evoked by social media. You might be concerned about what your partner is doing, the people they appear in photos, or the reason you aren’t with them.
How To Manage Your Clingy Behaviors
When trying to change your clingy tendencies after recognizing some of them in yourself, it’s critical to reflect on your behavior and pinpoint the circumstances in which you give in to your clingy tendencies.
Managing clinginess will help you be more satisfied with your life. Wanting to be better and have healthier relationships is a sign of maturity and growth.
But it’s not always simple to let go of an anxious attachment. Giving your partner more space can feel intimidating, especially if you’ve been clingy for a long time. For this reason, it’s crucial to take things slowly. What follows can be helpful:
Talk With Your Partner
Clinginess frequently results from emotional needs that have not been met, relationship trauma from the past, and insecurities. You’ll be able to recognize unhealthy patterns and stop yourself from acting on them when the urge strikes if you discuss them with your partner.
Invest In Your Personal Growth
Clingy people frequently neglect their own lives because they value relationships so highly. It’s possible that you’ll neglect your friends and hobbies because you’ll be so preoccupied with your partner. Investing in your personal development is a great exercise when attempting to change this behavior.
Consider alternatives to activities that involve your partner, such as: reconnecting with an old friend, trying a new hobby, working out, meditate. You need to control and rely on your partner will decrease the more contented your inner life is.
Talk To A Therapist
Talking to a professional about these issues is a good idea if your clinginess is caused by anxiety, past relationship trauma, or a fear of abandonment. In this manner, you can comprehend why you develop unhealthy attachments to people and work on your wellness.
Couples counseling may be recommended by your therapist, but individual sessions are also crucial.
Few people would enjoy the label of being clingy. Despite the fact that it might seem like a response to strong emotions, it can overwhelm your partner and lead to a rift in your relationship.
Clinginess, which can be caused by anxiety, can significantly impede the pure joy that can be found in a relationship. To get out of this behavior and into more healthy interactions with your partner, you can certainly do so gradually.